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Date: 2011-02-14 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] synchronic
I would like to begin by saying that I think you write beautifully. The poignancy of your narrative is captivating and more than helps me grasp what Blaine felt throughout the story. To say I'm jealous of the way you're able to let the story flow is an understatement; I want to take your talent and keep it for my own.

That being said, I was only able to get through half of this. I felt that the characters portrayed were wildly out of character. At points, it felt like this was a fic for a different show all together. Rachel, while abrasive, isn't nearly as graceful or cruel as you made her here.

Rachel has stomped off, having announced to anyone within a fifty-foot radius that Kurt probably wouldn't be able to meet her discerning requirements for plastic drinkware anyway.

This was especially disconcerting after seeing how wonderfully they get along on-screen when not in the same club. I actually winced at some parts of it; while Rachel wouldn't hold back with someone like Santana, she would never deign to speak to Kurt like that.

Kurt's characterization, while witty and acerbic, felt older, more disillusioned than that of a sixteen-year old, middle class brat. For the half that I did read, it felt as though he were a shadow rather than an actualized character. Rachel was far more solid than Kurt was.

With Blaine's dialogue, I see what you were trying to do with it but it felt like you were overreaching. I get that he was fashioning himself after classic Hollywood actors but it still felt too formal and stilted for a sixteen-year old surrounded by other boys.

"It's kind of painful to watch all those philistines while the real talent sits in a corner."

This is what left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't read further than this. Blaine would never be this cruel. He's never said a bad word about anyone and he's been nothing but humble. I'm not sure where this characterization came from, but it feels like we're not even watching the same show here.
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nthcoincident

February 2011

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